By-election junky Davis refuses to acknowledge victory in Haltemprice and Howden

In spite of being told by-election officials that he won with a massive majority of the vote, David Davis, MP, has refused to acknowledge the end of the Haltemprice and Howden by-election and vowed to fight on. Davis told the Today Programme quixotically this morning that, ‘I’m definitely going to continue this campaign.’ Davis insisted that his tedious and uninteresting campaign would go on because now, without the prospect of becoming Home Secretary in an incoming Conservative government, it was all he has left.

The pronouncement came as little surprise to Westminster insiders who point out that Davis was the only person who wanted the election in the first place. His promulgation of the doctrine of permanent by-election was met with widespread bemusement and weary shoulder-shrugging. Davis’s decision means that we will all be forced to listen to him talk about civil liberties ad nauseam as if they were the most important thing in politics. It is rumoured that several Today Programme regulars are considering resigning as a means of avoiding interviewing him.

One Labour Cabinet Minister sneered that Davis was ‘as bad as the EU.’ He told Just Who the Hell Are We? that there no important difference between the EU asking the populations of member states to vote again in referenda ‘when they got things wrong’ and Davis’s refusal to accept the verdict of the much put-upon people of Haltemprice and Howden.

As yet there has been no indication from the farrago of misfits and Halloween politicians who took 30% of the vote from Davis whether they will accept the verdict of the people or continue to campaign in Haltemprice and Howden. Most are thought to be considering their position with their families over the weekend so as to avoid making hasty and ill-judged decisions.

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One Response to “By-election junky Davis refuses to acknowledge victory in Haltemprice and Howden”

  1. Michael Tim Says:

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